Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's some kind of mad woman wearing sneakers...

I had a different post planned for today, but being the coldest day EVER RECORDED in a February, I felt compelled to write about how much we Canucks like to brag about being bred tough.  The idea that weathering the cold is a badge of honour we proudly wear with grace and good humour.

I can tell you, as a 9th generation Canadian, that I did not wake up this morning with a warm and fuzzy, laugh-out-loud feeling about scraping the ice off my windshield.  Nor were the words coming out in my frozen breath anything resembling graceful.  And while I can't speak for everyone, I personally have never felt patriotic about shovelling my car out, after the plow guy (who I swear has it in for me) has buried it alive, at 5 am on my way out to work.

Anyway, that further got me thinking about my next wish.  It's an oldie, but a goodie...

The "I wish I could fly" wish.

When I was a kid, I had to walk back and forth to school every day, come rain, shine, sleet or blizzard (I'm a Canadian, I could handle it).  As I would make the loathsome trek, I would often think how lovely it would be to fly above the trees, cutting time and avoiding boredom.  I would do this with a sense of satisfaction at having outwitted my mother who thought "the exercise is good for you".

There would have been a slight conflict with the crows because I had seen the movie "The Birds" by Alfred Hitchcock, but I would cross that bridge later.

So back to my point:

I still wish I could fly, but not so much to get from A to B, but just so that I could go south for the winter without having to go through airport security.

 Some of my Canadian ancestors:

There's a black fly in my chardonnay...

Now that I have effectively granted myself a lifetime of wishes, I am at a loss where to start.  So I am going to be pretty general with this one...

I wish the landscape of life were more daisies, less prickly thorn bush.

For the sake of wanting to believe that karma is a fair and reasonable lady, I spend my life trying to please her.  My expectations in return are not grand, but I am starting to feel that my efforts far outweigh her contribution to this mutual agreement.  Perhaps I should have gotten it in writing.

The reality is that most of the time I feel as though I am acting out that Alanis Morissette song about everything being ironic, but it's not actually irony, just really sucky.

So in my limited research to find a graphic to attach to this post, I found this:

"The Gerenuk, also known as the Waller’s gazelle, is a long-necked species of antelope found in dry thorn bush scrub and desert in Eastern Africa. The word gerenuk comes from the Somali language, meaning “giraffe-necked”. Gerenuks have a relatively small head for their body, but their eyes and ears are proportionately large. Gerenuks seldom graze but browse on prickly bushes and trees, such as acacias. They can reach higher branches and twigs than other gazelles and antelope by standing erect on their rear legs and stretching their elongated  necks". (taken from: thinkinghumanity.com)

On a side note, if you want to see more cool "animals you may not have know existed", check-out this link:

http://www.thinkinghumanity.com/2014/07/40-animals-you-may-not-have-known-existed.html

So essentially I'm like Alanis Morissette living in a Gerenuk world.

  

k, also known as the Waller’s gazelle, is a long-necked species of antelope found in dry thorn bush scrub and desert in Eastern Africa. The word gerenuk comes from the Somali language, meaning “giraffe-necked”. Gerenuks have a relatively small head for their body, but their eyes and ears are proportionately large. Gerenuks seldom graze but browse on prickly bushes and trees, such as acacias. They can reach higher branches and twigs than other gazelles and antelope by standing erect on their rear legs and stretching their elongate - See more at: http://www.thinkinghumanity.com/2014/07/40-animals-you-may-not-have-known-existed.html#sthash.Q7YFxSNg.dpuf

Prickly thorn bush everywhere.

Alanis Morissette, image credit: 1001covers.blogspot.ca, Gerenuk, image credit: thinkinghumanity.com

When you wish upon a shoe...

If I only had one wish, it would be to have more wishes.

I know this is not a new idea, but it is a good one, because the responsibility of making just one wish is too damned stressful.  That kind of responsibility is way beyond my pay grade.  Like if you only have one wish and you don't wish for world peace, aren't you kind of a jerk?

Truth be told, I don't actually possess a mystical lantern and I am not personally acquainted with any wish-wielding genies, so I will have to make do with the theoretical magical wand in my head, proposing as many wishes as I want that will likely never be granted, but what the hell.

taken from: www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hbO9XzBP5e4

"In case of emergency, the exits are here-here-here-here-here-here-here-here-here-here-here - anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet!" -Genie, Aladdin