Siskel, Ebert, & Santagato

My wish this week is for someone to hire Joe Santagato to preview movies before they are released to the public; and I have to credit my daughter for this because the idea was her genius. 

Today we watched a “horror” movie that was both ridiculously bad and incredibly annoying.  It was at one cringe-worthy “oh my god, who the hell would do that!?” moment that she said she could picture Joe narrating this movie. 

From that point on, we spent the rest of the film doing Joe Santagato impressions, and generally being idiots.

But seriously though, I would like everyone (if you don’t follow Joe, do so first) to enjoy every single movie, hence forth, with visions of a sarcastic, extremely on-point smartass, shed a little bit of reality on what you are paying to see.  Or in this case, streaming in a quasi-legal way to see.

Joe Santagato
 

Long Time Running

So the big news this week, for us Canucks anyway, is the announcement that our beloved Gord Downie, frontman for epic Canadian band The Tragically Hip, has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. 

Although I am saddened by the news, I have resisted commenting or reacting to the hundreds of daily posts on the subject because I just simply didn’t feel the need, or see the benefit.  Gord has cancer, it sucks, period.

That was until yesterday when I had my finger on the trigger to respond to a comment on a facebook post regarding a suggestion that Gord, &/or the band, should receive the Order of Canada.  I resisted the urge because I am not about getting into a redundant argument with strangers.  But I own this blog where I can rant unfettered, so here goes…

First, let me be clear: I understand the argument; we can’t just give out awards and honours willy-nilly because someone is famous (nobody agrees with that more than me), or because they are sick or dying.  The Order of Canada is a big deal, reserved for special contributors to Canadian culture, who have helped shape our identity and who represent us to the rest of the world as a unique nation, and who make us proud.

So here’s the thing:  for as long as I can remember, people have been asking the question, “What is Canadian culture exactly?”.  Well it took the news of the possibility of the end of The Tragically Hip to realize that Gord and the boys have been telling us what it is for 3 decades.
 
Just as Tom Thomson (whom the band famously sang about), painted the iconic images that touch our hearts, Mr Downie has been serenading us with hauntingly beautiful, and sometimes tragic, stories about this country and its history.   These recordings are works of art, no less so than a stunning visual painting.

For me Gord Downie has always been exactly the perfect Canadian… talented, humble, unique, and proud.  Which is why he probably doesn’t give a shit about honours & awards anyway.

Post Script:
I have rare videos of the band's performance on SNL in 1995 which give me tear-inducing "Canada Goose-bumps", every time I watch; but the stupid interweb police shut me down if I try to post them.  Sorry guys, I tried. 

Chips: Fact vs Fiction

So I chose one wish from the daily mass influx of comments I receive (note my tongue-firmly-in-cheek here), and decided to do a little research on the topic in question, which was this:

Why doesn’t wishing on a folded chip ever work?

My immediate response is “well because that’s stupid”, but then I thought about it and remembered those days, back in the 80’s, when this was a very important rule pertaining to the chip bag.  In those days potatoes weren’t genetically engineered to be perfect specimens, each slice the same boring size and shape.  No, no, no… there were legit fights back then between siblings… over the GIANT chip, the bubble chip, and alas the coveted wish chip.

I wonder now how far back this superstition goes?  Like when George Crum famously dropped thinly-sliced potatoes into a vat of hot oil to appease a growing crowd of hungry diners, did he find one all folded over on itself and say “I wish I didn’t have to cook any more damn potatoes”?

Anyway, back to the research.  So apparently there are all sorts of recommendations out there on how to properly wish on a folded chip.  For instance, according to the experts, you cannot just shove it in all at once and expect miracles; there is an art.  And as with any art, it is highly debated and subjective.  In fact there is even a facebook page on the topic:

https://www.facebook.com/The-rules-of-Wish-Chips-114012905287581/

Also, while we’re on the subject of chips and siblings, just wanted to shout-out to my middle sibling (the one who usually won any fights, chip related or otherwise) to recall the shining moment in our sisterly comradery when we were being super annoying and Mom told us to be quiet and watch "CHiPs"… so we stared at a bowl of chips, steadfastly holding back the rising fits of laughter.  Ah yes, them were the days.



tvlistings.zap2it.com

 

 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KekVrkXGYFw