The Chronicles of A-Genie-in-Chucks-in-Isolation

Chapter One of Potentially Many, but also…






Can I just start off by saying - holy shit it's been a while since my last post. How did that happen?

I mean there's a LOT to tell. Not that I was ever going to share the truly juicy stuff, but ya know.

Before I continue though - a sidebar if you will...

It was pointed-out to me recently that I greatly resemble this dog:

Yeah, I'm 100% taking it as a compliment.

Anyhoo, on to the matter at hand...
 

During these strange times, I find myself asking some truly deep, mind-bending questions – like:

“What would I actually do if they closed the LCBO?”

 

“Are clothes even important anymore? - what is my life!”

And…

“I wonder what Bill Murray is wearing under quarantine?”

As I ponder, I find that a big part of the problem with this whole isolation thingy is finding inspiration to do literally anything. And I don’t mean the regular things like working out, or organizing your junk drawer (okay, that’s all of my drawers) – but I mean things like eating, sleeping, or being entertained.  Everything has become an internal debate in which one side is always a weak-ass bitch. 

For instance:

   

“I should go to bed at some point, but also I could just sit here for five more hours watching this mediocre show”

“It’s late, I should switch from wine to water, but also the wine bottle is right beside me”

“I could change this mediocre show and find something better to watch, but also….”

You get the point.

So, you can just imagine the mental push it took to get here. “Hey Suzie, you could write something in your blog, but also…”

You feel me?

Anyway, back to Bill. It is not lost on me that there is a relevant Groundhog Day connection to this situation, but I’d be lying if I admitted to being that calculated or clever. I actually am just obsessed with the man and have genuinely wondered what he is doing in the privacy of his isolated Murray kingdom.

I could potentially google “What is Bill Murray up to these days”, but also…

So, as the ever-present internal debate careens toward its inevitable destination, I’ll take this opportunity to pat myself on the back for making it this far into a blog post.

I will also bank this effort as being worthy of at least seven solid hours of doing absolutely nothing productive – yay me.

Wishing you all stay safe,

The Genie in Chucks

 
P.S. Stay tuned for The Chronicles of A-Genie-In-Chucks-In-Isolation Chapter Two - The Genie of Course Gets Fly Quarantine Footwear", but also...

FLT

Hey-o!

So I've been busy AF, but thought I'd dole out another useless update just for fun.

Actually this post is really just a distraction from the real work I should be doing because otherwise my brain would self destruct like an Inspector Gadget intelligence document.

(Look at me - I said AF and Inspector Gadget in the same blog - Go Suzie Go!)

Anyhoo, let’s talk Netflix:

What I’m currently watching:

The Bodyguard - It’s “Meh” but worth it for obvious reasons.

Mr. D - if you’re not watching this you’re stupid “No dance! Final word!” 

What I finished watching: 

You - YOU!!! I hate you people. You're all a bunch of jerks.

What I intend to watch: 

High-brow intelligent shows - but let’s face it, I’m still mourning the end of Blue Mountain State, which btw (while I’m being all current and acronymy) is entirely offensive, ridiculously sexist, and categorically cringeworthy - I miss it so much already.

Well I guess that’s it for now. Have fun folks, cause really, what else is there?

Love always,

A Genie in Chucks - breaking out the low top boys in red n' black tomorrow cause I’m FLT (Fly Like That).

Hoes and Lambos

So last night was fun. I met a pimp.  

And not just any pimp!  According to my new acquaintance, he not only “runs things” here in the GTA, but his uncle runs a whole other country too.   

His status, as he pointed out, could be verified by his $1,000 Louis Vuitton baseball hat, and a leather jacket which he "don’t even want to get into the value" of.

Good news! Apparently, MY DAUGHTER (😐) and I have massive potential!  Yay us.

I’ll have to admit, I hadn’t considered spiraling into a life of drugs and prostitution with my child, but now that I have a guy who’s willing to take a mere 30% cut of the massive influx of wealth I would acquire, and add to that, all the Lamborghinis he said I would be driving, I’m like….

Yeah fuck no. 

Sadly for our friendly neighborhood dirtbag, he picked the wrong child to mess with, because with wit as fierce as that nasty left hook of hers, my girl had a fast-talking, skeezy mofo speechless.  Proud mama.

I won’t go into all the gross wisdom he imparted on us, but I will tell you that the words “a little bit of this” will forever mean something different.

So my wish today is two-fold :

1. Somehow (don’t care how) this guy disappears.

2. I find a magic loofah that has the power to scrub the ick from my brain.