Hoes and Lambos

So last night was fun. I met a pimp.  

And not just any pimp!  According to my new acquaintance, he not only “runs things” here in the GTA, but his uncle runs a whole other country too.   

His status, as he pointed out, could be verified by his $1,000 Louis Vuitton baseball hat, and a leather jacket which he "don’t even want to get into the value" of.

Good news! Apparently, MY DAUGHTER (😐) and I have massive potential!  Yay us.

I’ll have to admit, I hadn’t considered spiraling into a life of drugs and prostitution with my child, but now that I have a guy who’s willing to take a mere 30% cut of the massive influx of wealth I would acquire, and add to that, all the Lamborghinis he said I would be driving, I’m like….

Yeah fuck no. 

Sadly for our friendly neighborhood dirtbag, he picked the wrong child to mess with, because with wit as fierce as that nasty left hook of hers, my girl had a fast-talking, skeezy mofo speechless.  Proud mama.

I won’t go into all the gross wisdom he imparted on us, but I will tell you that the words “a little bit of this” will forever mean something different.

So my wish today is two-fold :

1. Somehow (don’t care how) this guy disappears.

2. I find a magic loofah that has the power to scrub the ick from my brain.